July 18

A letter from Ethan

It was a long day from work and received a call from Tommy he ask if I could lend him a hand for buying a chunk of bricks so I went to a workshop and bought bricks I gave the bricks carefully on the ground and Tommy was thankful. I received a letter from Ehan about his school trip he said that he saw a merry go around and didn’t see any signs he went on one but the horse flew off and Ethan got a serious head injury but he survived and there was no more words from that.


Posted July 18, 2017 by ryanc2016 in category Uncategorized

1 thoughts on “A letter from Ethan

  1. antsclass

    Ryan,
    you set an interesting scene here, but I think you need more planning in a piece like this to make sure it has a central event. As it is, it just seems like a string of things that happened. Also, you need to pay closer attention to punctuation- there are only 2 full stops.
    Set yourself a goal next week of creating a story based around a problem that gets solved.
    Keep up the good work
    Ant

    Reply

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